Congraz to my dear Bro

Yeah! today marks a new chapter in my eldest bro life as he is no longer available already. He got engage today already.... It is a nice setting and all.. it is really a happy ending... haha amara hotel... it is a super good hotel with good service and food and stuff... :D

other then congraz bro i am worried also cause result comming out in less then 2 hous time... and it is really worrying.... cause i cannot do the paper.... i am so scared... god please.... help me... i want all the result that i used to have back in poly... but i know it is not possiable le.... so sad....

OMG!!! It is too good to be true

Haha... What is too good to be true? lol... It is my new Ipod Touch... haha so happy about it.... Yeah 1st time i get my own stuff with my own saving and stuff. infact i did not really think of buying it unless my creative zen vplus software get hang again... so was rather pissed off and wanted to get a new mp3 or mp4. then tot of must well use ipod touch cause can surf net everywhere you go too... haha

What a nice day to chill out...

Haha... it is such a nice day to chill out with my poly mate, we went to sentosa to cycle, play the attractions and also taste the food yummy....

look this is what i eat: it is called the taste of Singapore or something... cannot rmb... haha
it is nice... there is a piece of chicken the style of cooking is the Indian style.. then the cracker also Indian style... then we have the satay... 1 chicken 1 mutton... hmm... yummy... haha it is the Malay style then follow by the chinese style de chicken rice and laska... haha... lastly my favourite: soft shell crab... yum... haha the price i think okie la.. 19.50.. haha it is in sentosa so cannot blame... lol....


but look at this spagetti with only sauce it cost 9.00



still mine more worth right? lol...

anyway... it is a fun day la... thanks NW for the nice tea break... haha yes we have these at 3 plus 4. so i dun know is it dinner or lunch.. lol so i will just name it as tea break... lol.... haha

oh ya not forgetting YF for the attraction ride.. haha it is kinda fun but then.... hmm... the road up is kinda scary... haha but i like the ride down... lol... haha... if only it is longer for the ride down and shorter for the ride up and i will go for it again...haha...

oh ya thanks JR for the nice presents too... i like that cute little winnie cup... haha

oh yes! forget to mention i went bowling again.. haha but no more beginner luck... so i did badly this time :'(
but was happy cause i spent $3 and i got myself this:


sorry you have to till ur head a bit...

nice and cute right? haha


okie i shall end here i guess... haha

It is a wonderful day

Oh... today is such a nice day... we bring joy and laughter to kids and elderly... i feel so great but tired at the same time...

In fact, the morning elderly de i only enjoyed chatting with elderly as well as singing songs in hokkien.. was so surprise when they have song book written in hokkien.... lol but all the songs are related to christ. so sorry cause i am not a christian so i dun really sing much... due to religion preharps.. but no matter what even you are not a christian, there is no harm bringing those elderly joy and laughter.. one of them even shed tears... i think she is too touched by us... never the less i must say that christian are really much more friendly compare to others... unless next time my hubbby is christian, i dun think i will convert. =)

Then to the FSC, it have been a long long time since i last saw so many presents... from things like remote cars, dolls, and even as easy as a standing fan.... i feel so touch when the kid ask for simple things like that. we are too fortunate cause from young we have fan already... haha not for me actually... i guess for most ppl out there... lol i cannot recall that there is fan in my kampong days... haha dun be surprise... i know a lot ppl never lived in kampong be4 but i did and i enjoyed to be the special few =)

But it is really happy to see all the happy faces after getting their presents even when i am so tired but their smile really worth a lot... oh ya 1 of ricoh staff even bring the children down and ask the children to help given out the gifts then is so cute image a 3 to 4 years old boy boy giving out presents to elder sis or bro like 10 plus years old? so cute right? haha and i think the boy enjoyed it cause the 1st round is the daddy ask them given de... then at the end he wanted to give it out... haha so cute...

Anyway.... Merry Christmas, 圣诞节快乐 to everyone out there... =)

Feeling bored and lonely...

Dun know why suddenly have this kinda feeling... but when the moon is high up in the sky i always have this feeling if i am at home... i wonder why? is it that i have lost interest staying in this place call home? i dun know... i wonder what should i do? i always wanted to do some house keeping stuff but i cannot find the energy in me to do it... i wonder why?

Recently have been rather busy cause i have to help out in the community service planning a Christmas party for the kids. It is a day to share after all... so since i am a poor student i might as well do my part like planning for those poor kids. I hope i can find my energy and strength to do stuff soon enough.

What a boring day turns out fun

Haha, today is suppose to be a boring day cause we need to go back to school to do our course reg.
But it turns out that we just need to send an email out only.. so in the we went to play pool at the usual place where my poly mates bring me to.

But after a short while, we got tired and started playing the arcade beside it liao... but soon got tired and went to play bowling... haha it is was dam fun... i guess it is begineer luck ba i manage to get 3rd in the 5 of us for both game. It is really fun. and i got 2 strike... so cool right? everytime i see ppl play i will be like oh man... it is like throwing $ into the drain... but i did not know that i can play that well too... lol it is not so difficult after all.. haha i guess i just need more practice and i can do better ba... haha even my friend ben also say i not bad.. haha so fun... I want to play bowling again please.... haha

Oh... It is so much fun

Oh... it is so much hanging out with friends... this is the best holidays i have in fact... In all this years i have been either studying too hard, working too hard or too busy with things like CCA. But this holiday since cannot find a job so must well hang out with friends... really happy... can meet pri, sec and poly friends all in 1 holiday... but then it is also burning a big hole in pockets too.

But i guess it is okie la... cause it is really a rare opp that you can get to meet friends right? especially is with long lost friends... a lot of ur notice it liao recently i have been updating my facebook alot cause I want to add contact to all my lost friends... haha it is so much fun. have 2 outing with primary friends, and 1 with sec friends and also 1 with poly friends so far but there will be one more comming up next sat... I love my holidays....

I hate course REG but i have a fun day out

Today i meet my friends at city hall cause we want to go the lan shop to reg for our module... it is so... cause some module we cannot get in due to space and stuff that makes me now still short of 1 module...

So after that have a good buffet lunch at Yuki Yaki at marina that side... We have a egg frying competition.. haha it is fun after that we have DIY ice cream buffet too... it is nice and i have fun... look at my favourite creation:


look it does not look like ice-cream like? haha

then look at my last creation not bad too...


tml need to go school for wsc and maybe makan with pri school friends.
hazi but by end of monday i can get all my course reg... praying hard for 201 de module....

Tired....

Hazi... recently have been very tired out.. mainly is because i sleep super early in the morning around 2 to 3 am... lol and maybe due to that i think i losing my voice soon... lol gotta take good care of myself cause in another few weeks time school is starting...

I hope that my result come out will not be that bad... and i can continue to study... but i dun have a good feeling... if i really score in any paper i must thank god liao... it is he that help me and not myself... but hope that i can keep my promise and do my stuff nice nice next semester onwards...

Thinking back.... and about my future...

Have a nice dinner out with Jing Long, christ, Hui Mei and Ms Sae... haha was a bit surprise that Ms Sae came too.. haha.... but she is a good teacher... It is sad to hear that my Secondary school is going down hill... In stuff like acadamic and cca also... and i heard that ppl in my secondary school started to transfer out too... for example a class of 40 in sec 1 can left with 20++ in sec 2 the rest all transfer out... and next year only 3 express, 1 NA and 1 NT. 5 class if each class 40 then it will be 200 students only... OMG it is so little la.... last time when i was in sec 1 we have 1D to 1i all Express... so plus NT and NA we got 9 classes. Hazi... so the school population now is like only 2k? which is dam low... if it gonna drop further, i think be4 it moved back to it new permise it will be combine with other school liao... hazi and it will go into history...

But sad to know that Ms Kodi my EL teacher in Sec 4 no longer teaching in that school already.... :'( she is such a good teacher... I still rmb the day i took my O's result... she hugged me and say sorry cause i only got D7... But getting a bad grade is not her fault at all.... It is all my fault...but i guess it is a path that the god show me... cause due to that EL i was not able to take courses like dip in early childhood edu or business. I was only left with IT or engineering.... and i choosen to be an engineer but my inspiration to be a teacher is still boiling hot in me... till I get a temp job after i grad from poly and when i know that NIE did not take me in....

So i know that i cannot take pre-school and Primary cause it will be a waste if i do... cause i have degree (if i completed successfully) I dun like secondary school ... maybe it is because i look at my secondary school teacher all shouting like hell like that so poor thing.... so i do some read up for poly lecturers... and in fact with a degree and working exp of 2 years or more i can teach there... It seems like not a bad choice... so i think that will be my goal then... since i wanted to try out engineering job after i grad too... so maybe can go for a few years and see how... =)

I really missed my Secondary school teachers... they are just so great.... Anyway.... All the best to all of you out there no matter you are still teaching a not... you have done a wonderful job....

I want to go out

Lol... i feel like going out but no one to accompany leh.... I want to watch cape no 7 i heard that it is a really good movie so i want to watch.... at 1st meet my poly friends to watch tml but then her schedule for tml is packed liao so gotta wait till next monday... hazi... really want to watch it asap leh... lol

Hmm... this fri will be the reg of next semester de course liao hope everything turns out fine and we can get the slot that we want =) ...

Staying home

Today was rather tired so i stay home the whole day.... Maybe due to the outing last night i slept till around 2pm be4 i wake up... lol so feel rather tired to even eat and drink... lol so skip my lunch... haha infact not skip la.. i have my breakfast at 2pm... lol then... ya skip lunch and have dinner at 7pm.. lol

oh ya... today rather boring la.. wake up at 2pm then do housework.. as usual sweeping and mopping the floor la... then have breakfast then watch tv + iron clothes.... OMG it is 2 full hours of ironing... tired.... then have dinner ... it was yummy... haha... my mum's cooking is always the best... lol... mine is not bad too... :p if have a chance your can try... haha

Just wondering how come all the events are choosen on the 13thDec08?? i dun understand... hazi.. it is like WSC christmas banner then Deli have booth dun know sell what then my primary school gathering round2... lol both my cca clashes. WSC i am the organize team and Deli i am the sub-com so which should i go...? hazi... not too sure still deciding... zzz

Primary 6 Gathering

Can you imagine that? 8 years of friends... haha we have not meet like 4 years and we have fun tonight. although the number is small but we have some fun... all of them have a job i guess i am the only one that is out of job in there ba... haha next time ur want to buy car find me hor... i recommend my friend to you...

All in the work force liao while i am still studying... hazi...
But thanks Girls and Guys to have the outing today... really like it... hope we can have more and bigger teams... next sat they might have a 2nd round but i not sure can make it a not cause i having cca la... so i dun know shall see how 1st...

Anyway today we hang out at a pub have some drink and food... it is nice food there but the drink not as nice as i predict it would be... haha... it is call green monster if i am not wrong la... haha dun know is it due to the drink or i already have it... a sore feeling at my thoart...haha i guess maybe too long never drink then suddenly drink ba... haha but not very long only 4 months? lol i cannot rmb ... ever since school starts till now have not drink yet... lol

Wee happy day out...

Today wake up early cause going to meet fitria for movie and lunch... haha we have lunch at jack's place and it is nice and not too expensive... 8.80 per person and got soup + bread then main dish and a cup of coke and Ice cream 2 scoop... worth it right?? haha too bad forget to take photo... haha after that we went to watch movie Madagascar: Escape 2 Africa it is a not bad movie but if more comdey then better... only a bit funny nia never laugh my loud that much...

Then we went to search for my planner of 2009 i think quite worth the price... i buy at harries for 12.90 but cause inside dun have weekly planner so i brought a add on for 5 bucks...look at the pics..

Nice right? haha

o ya then i bought a parker pen for my planner also

nice pen right?? lol

haha it goes well right?? lol

not bad 28.80 and i get what i want... lol i know a bit x when add up.Haha but i still quite like it hopefully i am trying to keep to whatever that is beening plan ba... hope that 2009 will be a good year.

Looking forward

tml going out with my best pals in uni... fit... haha finally get to meet you from holiday till now... lol... We shall have a good meal and a good movie and some catch up =) haha

Btw thanks Kevin for the kind gesture for offering things from taipei... i have never been there be4 so no idea what to buy too... but if you get to try some good food then can bring some back for us ... :x haha

hmm... another thing i look forward to is my primary 6 gathering... was rather surprise when i get the sms last week... was like... wa.... so many year back... i think got 8 ba... never meet each other liao i wonder how is everyone... hmm i wonder how many can i remember.... Guys i think are more mature and girls should be more pretty liao... not the cute and innocient type anymore... lol.... Really looking forward to the meet up this sat... haha hmm thinking back not that long... i remember there is another gathering after i grad but then cannot remember when it is liao...

I hope can get to hang out with my sec gang of 4 too... hmm... I feel rather sad cause i always cannot meet them due to school work or last tim was work... i am a workaholic.... i freq work overtime... haha not that i cannot meet the deadline but sometime you know la the project pls production when comes together it is hard to do de... My close friends will know my job is a 5.5 days work and pays 1.1k only... but i dun mind cause i want is exp ma... lol then i can work till 1 month only 2 days off... haha yup almost every 2 week i gave myself 1 off day nia... haha it is rather quite and peaceful to work over the weekend and my sat is 1.5times for OT so i normally work till 7 or 8pm wich is 7 or 8 hours more then my offical hours... then on sunday i normally will work for 12hours or more cause the pay is 2 times ma... haha... so my normal pay after CPF is 900 plus then i can work OT till i get 1.8K after CPF... lol it is like my 2 months de pay liao... so i was like work 1 month but getting 2 months de pay... i dun mind cause the job is relaxing during weekends...as in my previous blog at live journal you can get the details... =) http://mandy-pinku.livejournal.com/

I hate staying home

Haiz... i feel so tired i just hate staying home all day long... it is so boring but i am not studying nor working and you cannot expect me to go out every single day right? haha so no choice... who ask me being born in not such a well to do family that cannot even get a time to go on holidays together... haiz... so i feel so bored staying home all day long... i start to feel so bored... haiz... dunno i am in a lost sia....

Guys call me out if your got event leh... i am bored....

My holidays so far

Hazi Sad to say that my holiday so far have been quite boring.... nothing much of fun yet.... My laptop is away for repair so i can only use com in the day time which makes me very sian at night...

okie lets talk about the holidays from last friday till now

28Nov08: A mix emo day

Ya a bit of mix emo cause i accompany dad to NUH for his outpatient appointment and we spent like half a day there we reach around 0800 the clinic not yet open so we waitied till 0830 and the clinic opens and dad too his blood test and i took dad down to the canteen for breakfast then we went to the nutrients department and waited dam long... i rmb last time this dept used to have drinks and biscuits for ppl to eat and drink but i think due to the economy i think it removed... lol ... then after this dept we went back to the clinic waiting for the doctor incharge for my daddy plus waiting for medication all that in the end left the hospital about 1330... half a day there.... lol

Then was a bit sian diao cause my laptop that company the service quite good it came to my house to collect the laptop for repair... haha so good i dun need to send down... lol Then this is the happy part: I meet up god-father for dinner at a noya resturant the food i feel that so so la... but then some thing interesting is that the shop english name is Guan hoe..... cannot remeber the full name then i keep kanna make fun of ask the boss same surname got discount a not... i was like...... =.= haha but was fun hanging out with god-father and his wife... then god-father started driving and he seems to lost his way so we ended up in geylang that area but not bad it is an eye opener for us... 1st time get to see the different between geylang and joo chiat at night that place is really interesteing...

Then when i reach home i started to iron some clothes cause i like to do housework when i am in good mood only... lol....

29Nov08: nothing special

Nothing special today just stay home all day playing DS and doing housework since no com to play with...

30Nov08: Boring day

Hazi same doing housework and playing DS all day nothing special lor...


01Dec08: FOC meeting

nothing special in the day time except that i dun need to do housework nia... lol
Then i went for FOC meeting regarding the Christmas event that we are going to have called the make a wish event... it is like so nice of the company 3 of the staff will sponser a christmas presents for each kid... during such a economy there is still company doing this kind of stuff... it is really very touching so i joined the event interesting and meaning full... haha then have pepper lunch for dinner with JR cause i dun want to eat alone... haha thanks JR for accompany me for dinner it is a pity that i have no job now if not i can treat you... =) next time when i get a job i will treat you all haha.... hmm... then nothing much liao shall sign off here...

10 WEIRD THINGS/HABITS/LITTLE KNOWN FACTS ABOUT ME.

Rules & Regulations

1) Each player of this game have to start off with 10 weird things/habits/little known facts about yourself.
2) People who got tagged by this, needs to write the same too.
3) At the end of it, you need to choose 10 people to be tagged and list their names.
4) No tag back!

Starting with...

1) I love soft toy... Yes till at the age of 20 i still love soft toy... i guess it will always be my favorite.

2) I love Baby / kids. I dun know why but i just love to be with them perhaps they make me feel younger.

3) I love cooking. Maybe it is not that tasty as compare to my mummy but i still love cooking and feel happy if it turns out nice and yummy... Some of my best dishes: Ginger vinegar pig's trotter , Sushi, Pizza and some basic veg and Chinese dishes...

4) I hate doing housework... I only do house work if my mood is good... but i dun like to be force doing it.

5) I like to impressed others that make myself very dislike by ppl around cause i like to finished up my stuff ASAP and not drag till deadline... I dun know why i must finished 1 stuff be4 i go to another.

6) I love sports... but due to my size... I kinda feel a bit lazy to for intensive sports like jogging. But i still love swimming... the feeling in the water is just so great till i cannot resist... lol

7) I Hate to be stressed out and i cannot solve the qn.... Perhaps i like to be praise by others.

8) I hate to be left alone. Especially in school... i like to be in groups...

9) I chat about my life story a lot... i am dam chatty kinda person... like to chat a lot...

10) I hate to follow rules and regulation... therefore i am not going to tag anyone.. lol

K Lunch

This is the 1st time i going for K Lunch i shall say not a bad choice and nice place to hang out a boring afternoon... haha

Have some fun with my uni mates out there today then we discussed about our plan for timetable all that... rather annoyed in the sense that why should we pay so much if we are to plan our own timetable... hazi...

Anyway after that went to Funan the IT mall the place i bought the lenovo laptop that have some electricity shock at the hand rest part. but i am not sure if it is the static or what... tml i guess call and ask how.. cause it is all the way to NP that is far from my house lor. lol

okie shall let you have a peak at my timetable next semester that i have planned:


Look there is 3 days 0830 lesson per week.. i dun know la... but then i guess i have not much of a choice cause 207 is too siong already so must clear... i not too sure how will it goes hope can get a even nicer timetable. hazi... sad sia...

Rather bored staying home,,,,

School holidays is fun but bored as well ... tml going KTV so not that bad then wed i need accompany my student to buy books and maybe go swim swim ba.. haha long time never swim liao... kinda feel go swimming hmm... Bored no job and nothing to do... hazi...

Planning timetable is so hard....

I would like to say a thank you to those timetable planner in poly... you are really great... unlike uni we have to plan our own timetable.... and it is very hard ... planning here and there, there will be 3 0830 lesson per week which is a bit... cause i never stay hostel... really very zzz lor...

I am looking for hostel or housing near that area that is affordable at around $100 over but less than $200 or those that allow sharing is the best... zzz dam emo now... thanks to timetable making me so stressed.... zzzz

Party at day 1

Haha today have party with my poly mates so nice... haha so nice thanks YF for the belated birthday present... it is nice and cute and comfortable... I like... haha

The dinner was nice too but x... $28. haha but then hor when i got job that time $28 for a dinner is really nothing... haha... but then now is as a student i think i too poor so i think i think x cause no income some more.. haha....
Btw we when to Swenses and i have beef burger and chicken burger sharing with my friends... but the beef is not nice i think over cooked but chicken is dam nice BBQ Mushroom Chicken Burger it is a MUST try... yummy... thinking still make me drips.. haha then we have Platter-to-share to share among 7 of us and also a Chocolate Fondue it is nice.... haha but the best is still the burger... haha

then we went walk walk and play pool... haha my skill dam lousy as usual ppl end liao i still have 4 to 5 balls on table... zzz... haha and lastly thanks to NW for sending me home.. haha....

BTW i just send my resume to a temp admin job hope can get the job 9-6 and $6 per hr pay is a bit low but then still okie lor 1 month not a lot ppl want you also... i know that i should rest in holidays but i need $$ so no choice still sourcing hard... =) Wish me good luck

It time to party

Haha Finally i made it through the uni year 1 Semester 1... although the result not out but i gotta let myself out for a few days after staying in the "jail" for about 4 months... haha

Btw FYI, school mates the timetable for next semester class schedule will be out on the 21Nov... and the Register of course for ABP is on the 9th and All student is on the 12th next month... so if ur want to meet out to discussed the timetable let me know ok? haha

Enjoy urself guys... going to nice place dun forget me hor... i want to enjoy too... =)

Last paper ...... 104 - Logic Design...

It sounds easy logic Design flip textbook it makes me feel that things are easy too but when it comes to past year paper... here i am again stucked everywhere.... I can only do qn 1 without looking at textbook .... OMG!!! so many things to remember... Multiplexer... DeMultiplexer Encoder and Decoder and all the Different kind of flip flop... adder and sort... Data sheet all not given and the exam is not open book... it should be like 103 and 105 like that open book then good ma... dun need to remember so many data sheet this is brain leh not computer how can i remember.... you lecturers when teaching also refer to datasheet and your expect student to remember the data sheet... please lor unless i everyday play with it or else how can i remember its data sheet details...

The paper is really a killer ... i guess i will be dam moody again tml... it is dam ...
Hazi.... Hope that the paper is going to be extremly different frompast year papers just like 101 and 103... but in the sensce that it is easier... haha imagine what is my test for 1010 in poly? i cannot even remember prehaps it is just too easy in poly.... haha now i understand why we are not exempted for 103 - 101 and 104 liao ... cause it is totally 2 different story... lol ...

Last paper also must make me moody... hazi... pray for me ppl out there... haha my paper is 2.30... but i think god also cannot help... unless change my brain into a CPU.. lol...

Last battle left

Yup! this Friday will be my last battle in uni for 1 semester... Frankly speaking I become so lost in confident after entering uni. But thanks to those caring friends that help me when i "Fall". Thanks a lot guys!

Hmm... today the java paper the timming was still a little too short maybe another 30 mins will be better... But at least i can tell you this is a do able paper... not as bad as the other 2. =) hopefully can get around B-... cause i did a lot of silly mistake... anyway it is over la... so just pray for the best lor...

Tml then shall start on my last paper de past year papers and highlight important points cause it is not an open book exam... haha... so gotta study a bit harder like 101....

The battle for My NEW subject in Uni

Haha ya tml is the battle for the only subject that is new to me in uni... Yes you are right it is the subject that have been making me drop a lot of tears and stuff... anyway it will be all over by tml... But i have not much worry about this module in the sence that 50% comes from lab... and my lab average is about B+ to A- liao... so not much worry in this case

So tml will be the day... quite worried in the sence that cause i looked at the past year papers it is all coding just like lab test... you give me a com i can do leh but on paper... hard leh... Not much of a theory tested mostly ask you write a program which i think rather stupid... must well conduct more lab test and not exam since ur exam is also programming.. lol ....

today have a chat with my poly lectures and have a little catch up so nice and sweet... Thanks for lending me a listening ears Mr Tham... =)

Another Email Fight

Yup! today we got back our java lab test 3 and i was overjoyed.... I got A for it... so happy... 1st time.... I really give me some confident boast... haha cause i see improvement... lab test 1 - B, Lab test 2 - B+ and now lab test 3 -A so happy about about it... but then i found that the whole class was marked minor errors for 3 function in lab 7 so we send out emails to fight for the marks... i know that for my cause the marks will not increase liao la... but then getting rid off the 3 ticks make my report looks nicer ma... haha so i joined in... Using my pass experience of email fighting, we manage to get the marks already by how much it is not stated yet... Anyway Mango Wish you all the best hope you can fight at least a C. =)

1 more day to java test liao... and i am left with past year papers and part of book 1 to go....
Actually i took this 2 papers more lightly as the lab percentage actually takes up about 50% of the total result so no much of a worry as the up to 50% for java already got around 35% cause it is a B+ average... and for logic design my up to 50% is about 40~45% as i got a A+ for lab... so take things more lightly i guess.. haha anyway good luck and all the best to all and myself :p

Life must get on....

Thanks for all the care and concern that my friends have given to me... I fully agree that life must get on... Yeah no matter what the result is life must get on... one more week to go and i am going to get some rest... haha.... School break... My friends in private uni told me that she only have exam once per year you know how much i enve her? 1 week 3 days of lesson plus 1 lesson only 3 hours... and 1 year only 1 exam... but then you see that also means that the amount stuff to study before exam is a lot.

So there is pro and con for everything... hehe so i should be strong and let things get on.... haha i guess it is because of time management that cause me to be so stressed through out the uni so far... haha... I think i have to get on.... =) Looking forward for the dinner with god-father 2 weeks later... hmm... nice....

Depression Signs and Symptoms

Depression Signs and Symptoms

Feelings of helplessness and hopelessness - A bleak outlook—nothing will ever get better and there’s nothing you can do to improve your situation.

Loss of interest in daily activities - No interest in or ability to enjoy former hobbies, pastimes, social activities, or sex.

Appetite or weight changes - Significant weight loss or weight gain—a change of more than 5% of body weight in a month.

Sleep changes - Either insomnia, especially waking in the early hours of the morning, or oversleeping (also known as hypersomnia).

Psychomotor agitation or retardation - Either feeling “keyed up” and restless or sluggish and physically slowed down.

Loss of energy - Feeling fatigued and physically drained. Even small tasks are exhausting or take longer.

Self-loathing - Strong feelings of worthlessness or guilt. Harsh criticism of perceived faults and mistakes.

Concentration problems - Trouble focusing, making decisions, or remembering things.

Here is a list of signs and symptoms of depression... And i see myself in some of them... Like:

-> Feeling helpless
-> Lost of interest
-> Sleep changes
-> Self-loathing
-> Concentration problems

5 out of 8...... I have no comments...

When is the last time you cried?

This qn was asked by one of my uni friends yesterday. If i have not entered uni i will tell you that i have not remember it. But then i found that ever since i enter uni almost every 3 weeks at least i cried twice...

Yeah Yeah... you can say that i am a cry baby... but then who would want to cry for nothing? But i am just over stressed up i guess.... Oh ya and recently have a lost of appetite or sometime will have super good appetite... i dun know why ... one moment dun feel like eating the other moment you see me eating food that have a strong taste like beef or something... Haiz...

Have i really tried my best???

I dun know what to say but then i just feel totally totally depressed after the 3 papers... out of the 5 papers that i have this semester, 3 of them i have foundation before in poly... and yet sad to say is that those 3 papers that i have taken 2 of them are what i learn in poly.

But then, i fail to score for both papers... Ya the result is not out yet but then i know it myself... how can you score when 75% of Electronic principle is left blank? and how can you score when 35% of ur Maths papers are blank and out of the 65% done, 20% is anyhow guessed....

I feel so down... I dun know....It is that i have not study hard enough or is it that the papers are really that hard... I know that during my 13 weeks in school i did not pay much attention but then i put in a lot of effort to study for my papers already... y is it that i still cannot do the papers.... I really dun know what should i do... In poly it was the 1st shot that boast up my confident and helps me to excel in poly... now entering the school with confident and yet now was in a totally stressed out mode... I have never tired that hard for my days in poly and i can score and do the papers in 1.5 hours even when 2 hours is given.... But in uni... 2 hours i used it fully and yet i cannot finished the papers... this is the 1st time in my life that 35% of the maths paper i left blank...It is so depressing...

After the papers i went out with my friends to breath a bit and came home at 9 plus... my mum ask where did i go? you got 1 paper today only why so late... I reply :"Having bad mood" then she say:"Exam cannot do lor? dun study properly la!" Y is it like that, i have tired my best even just now when i took a cab home the cab uncle very nice telling me dun be too upset over the papers... just try ur best.... Y others can tell me that and my mum always say the opposite....

I also want to do my best... I know the school fee is expensive and i also want to complete it fast and dun want to add on to dad burden but i just cannot... I really dun know should i continue to study a not even if i fail a module... Friends around me today have been joking and saying that next semester repeat again... But i dun know... am i really that type that can continue to study in uni??? Should i quit school??? this qn have been in my mind 3 weeks after the school start... till now 15 weeks over and it is still in my mind... in poly i only have the idea i dun like the course for less then 10 weeks and i gave up the idea and change to this course is interesting....

I dun know but i feel like quiting school and go into Dip in early childhood education... maybe that is a better course for me... I dun know... I am super super super stressed.... 2 more papers to go i dun know what will happen.... i guess monday i will go back to school.... cause Maylor says lab 9 is out but not for my class and he did mention that the rest should be in by monday. so i guess monday i will go back to school just to collect the paper i guess....

1st battle is TTL

My 1st battle in uni is a failure... It is the 1st time that i sit for the papers for 2 full hours... and yet i did not finished the papers in fact i did not know how to do the papers i think i can score only 35% hopefully if after moderation and lab i can get C+. Then i shall spend more time on other module and hopefully can chiong an A for it and Average i can get B+...

The 2nd battle is econs... and i completed it ... i think can get 65% and quiz.. therefore i think can get S liao so no worries... haha... now i am going to chiong A for Maths. then the other is java hopefully get A also and then for Digital since my test got A+ i shall carry on and try to score A too...

Jia you ... 3 more modules and i am free from the stress for a few weeks...

Tml is the 1st battle

Tml will be my 1st real battle in uni. And it is sad to say that my revision is not done yet...for my 1st paper i think i can onl do 25% for now... but i am going to do my revision later hopefully can do 75% then i very happy liao... I dun like the papers in uni cause they never let us choose unlike poly we have things like section A do all and section B do 3 out of 4.

But my economics i have study for chapter 1 to 11 but not 12. actually i did try 12 but it is too hard to understand and i am too confused i guess... haha.. anyway i am going to put economics aside for now and start EP cause economics i need another 60 marks for tml papers is enough already cause all i need is a C so not much worried... but EP i need to get B.

Infact getting a B i should be ahame of myself in the sense that i have learn this module before and now i dun remember any.... haiz... but to do it all boils down to my lazy attitude towards study. Prehaps i am not the study kind... Let just try my best. If my results this semester have an average of B then i shall start home tuition and if average is C then i will consider about converting into part time degree program and maybe look for some full time job.

Stupid community center

Ever since the community center was set up opposite my house it have been pissing me off la... so many events that i actually caused disturb to resident life....

If you want social dancing or singing competition you do it in the day time... if you can't take the heat then dun dance... plus your members enjoy the music and dance but please consider about the resident that living nearby... those kids studying for exam like me and those working adults that want some peace when they get home.... it is too much la... 4 or 5 hours of noise pollution to the resident every night... no compensation also... nothing at all.... living here is like hell especially during exam period....

I must get down to study....

No matter what now i must force myself to get down to study... cause i started with maths past year papers and found that i got a lot cannot do... so die la.... zzz.... still trying hard... but i guess should stop maths and get on to 101 and 191 i guess.. cause they are the 1st papers.... haiz...

Study... Study ... Study

Why? Why? Why? Why i cannot settle down to study i have like less than 5 days to exam and i am worried and cannot concentrate on study... why?

Any comments on how can i focused like i used to in poly? Is it that poly provides a better environment for study or what? i dun understand how come i fail to study nowadays... i just dun have the feeling of study... i seems to have mood swing.... i dun know what happen???

Anyway, i must still try to focused. Please help me focused till my exam is over... stop thinking and planning of holidays and thinking of earning money.... stop all that focused in exam now.....

Yes!!! I won.... =)

Yes! I won the debate between me and my java lab test 2 marker. Haha... Feel so dam happy now... Serve you right if you are landed in .... cause i already give you 3 days to reply me but since you did not i have no choice but to inform the module head which i am very good at. in my poly days i always make sure i know every module module head so as easy for me to file a complain... haha...

So too bad if you dun want to reply me... i am not those that let the matter rest easily like others. I will always go for it till i get it... =) Cheers... now i can see my java improving.... from B to B+... hopefully the next one can be A. haha praying hard la... dun know... enough time to get back a not also dun know... haha... anyway i am happy cause i won the battle using email... haha

Finally no more java programming for the time being

Haha, finally there is no more java programming liao no more lab no more lab test... now i am down with my very last lab test 3 report... i am rather pissed off by that stupid marker of mine for my java lab test 2. mark my function as error when my function is correct and i send email to correct him he dun want to reply me. fine... if i dun get ur reply by tml, i am going to Maylor... And i dun care whatever the reasons is for not being able to reply me. Too embarrased to admit your mistake? come on i no longer having the flame in me already but if you continue not to reply me you are only adding on oil to the unfinshed burning flame. One word of advice: "you are only playing with fire".

Friends in poly will know that every semester i will find fault with someone in the position of either marker or lecturer or lab tech. if you want me to continue then be it. I think althought i dun like the lecturers here but then i will still say that a couple of them are still nice and friendly... like my 101 and 103 tutors. they are great. =)

I really missed those days in poly whereby i get to find teachers to clear all the qn that i have... how i wished that i am still in poly... y poly dun provide us with direct degree courses... sad sad...

Trying to overcome

I am still trying to overcome myself... for all the stuff in uni. I believed it is the life biggest challenge that i have so far. Trying to finished my 101 report and log book tidy up and get it ready for submission on monday. Hopefully can get it done by later then i shall try and play around with my java the trees coding so that i can excel in the lab test tml.

Oh ya and friends that are with me last friday, I am so sorry... i know i lost my temper when i dun get a good result i hope that your can understand and forgive me. I am not good at controlling my temp as everyone is scoring and i am the only one left behind... I still cannot get used to the seeing others score while i dun life... I am being pampered in poly i guess... always being the top scorer amoung my friends and class...

I can't stand it now but i will try to score and get motivated to study or maybe just get used to not being a top scorer as long as results are good enough to pass... which path should i choose i dun know. paths a have nice rewards at the end but it is tough and rocky road... path b have nice smooth road but the end rewards is as good as nothing.... I really dun know... I need to hear more advices...

Dun see a point of staying in this world.....

Yeah, i dun see a point staying in this world it is so full of stupid ppl...
What is the point of staying alive then? Staying alive always kana command to do this do that then also kana so much stressed from study... and the worst is kana say on the out look .... i dun see a point of staying alive...

I am neither pretty nor smart so y am i in world???

why am i suffering so much??? y must i bear with so much stuff....

AT HOME:
why are you always commanding me to do housework?? yeah you are busy but i am tired after a whole day of school ... and do you know how sad i feel in school today... maths scoring below average then java getting only a B for test 2 while others getting A... and do you know how uneasy i feel... i have been having the pain due to warts and also a super bad flu la.... y are you still commanding to do so many stuff...you have never shown concern about me at all from young till now... What you are best at is to use ur mouth... from young what i heard most often is : " fat", "lazy" and "stupid" i never hear a word of appriase... others have parents with them on their grad day and a lot of them have both...or even a whole family but me? i was all alone... when it is bro's grad day what did you do? you went to buy NEW clothes and doll up urself for his grad day so what if he is uni grad and i am poly grad... what is the different?

IN SCHOOL:
today is a bad day... the date to exam keep getting closer and closer and yet i have so many stuff left undone... report to rush and java lab test again on the comming monday... this is bad la... 1 week be4 exam and i sm still rushing for reports... this is so ....
I really breakdown today as my maths i only scored B- and the average is B. I am so dam pissed with myself la... i know it is slightly below average only but then i have never never score such a low score be4 and maths is the only subject that i am good in lor... Since there is 10 to 20 ppl getting full marks then y am i only getting B- . Getting a B i will still cry de lor... cause if ppl can get full marks i should be able to at least get an A.
then the java lab i dun know what happen whether is the copying code error or what i give not robust in one of my function looking at the output file i saw error in it and then i look at lab 5 and it is perfectly normal... WTF la... then in my test i manage to do 1 qn but then now i was not even marked correct for a single 1. the one that i manage to get output was marked with MAJOR ERROR which i dam pissed off... if the program can run then is MAJOR ERROR if program cannot run how? it really pissed me off la... The i am only being given B and others that have both new function not running also B then what is the point of doing the lab test... it is so unfair lor... different class different marker so the marks given is also different... then what is the point man.... Fuck off la... Stupid lab test and marking system....

In the world :
There are so many ppl in this world so with or without me will not make a different... so y am i in this world.... i am going to suffer from 2nd attack of depression soon. And things always goes like this: 1st attack~> mild, 2nd attack ~> can kill... so dun be surprise if one day you see me walking around aimlessy and looks abnormal... you know what happen....

Results after results...

Ya! Exam is coming so all the tutors and teach all start giving back the quiz and stuff... so dam scary... the maths especially i might just break down if my score is last then 75 lor... ya i know 75 is 3 out of 4 correct but then it is already super low already... ever since my primary 3 onwards my maths have been scoring A la... it have NEVER go lower then that... Even if i forget to study for it... and this time round i took a week plus to prepare for a simple 4 qn quiz and i think i will be dam sad if i dun get 70 - 75%.

And java lab test 2.... FSP are ready for colection but not others... WT... cause FEP are those that get to do the lab test 1st and y is FSP getting the papers back earlier then us?? haiz Stupid system... zzz.....

praying hard for good results for both maths and java.....
keeping fingers crossed...