Thank you for ppl out there that cared for me. I will learn how to love myself more... I will start getting more activite in social life and less activite in family life. I will only wake up when HE is out of the house and return home when he retired to bed. This will minize the amount of friction that is between us.
I will NO longer call him, I will NO longer talk to him. He will be invisible from now on. The only way to treat myself better is to treat him as an invisible person. I will no longer go home after everything is done... Even if i go home i will bath and eat dinner and return to my room as soon as i finished my dinner. I no longer want to talk to him. I would only treat him like my landlord. Someone that I dun know. Since he already changed. He is no longer the family member that i know of.
I know this is going to be unfair to my mummy, but I am at my end... I really don't want to interact with him anymore until he change his attitude. If he does not change his attitude, I would no longer call him. I would no longer acknowledge him. I know in my heart it is a truth that he is related to me and I cannot change this. I own him my life... I will take on the responsiblility, I will supply him with the $ that he always wanted. But I will no longer acknowlege that he is someone that I should pay respect or do work for him. I have had enough of him. It is not my responsibility to be like this. I wished that i can moved out and live on my own... and I know I soon will... Once I am financially independant... I should no longer work on my dream (MOE teaching) ... I should start working on my future... so that I am ready to move out of the house as soon as possible...
So from now on, I will be in my own world. 2 of my best friend will be with me. So the 3 of us will stay strong and make through this period. The 3 ppl are Me, Myself and I... Sad to say that but I think with this few best friends I will be leading a better life. I will start searching for a job. At the same time I would apply for MOE teaching. If i really got to study there, I would be staying in hall. I would not mind travelling from hall to my cca at sengkang but i will return back to hall after that. I would go home but that will be maybe once a month or the most twice. I know only mum will be sad but I have no choice. I would also stop celebrating their birthday for them. No more! But mummy, I will forever rmb yours. I promised.
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